Creed breaks up! This means we have avoided the apocalypse for now.

 

When receiving an unsolicited call I have found the absolute best response it to quickly, politely cut the person off and say “I’m sorry, this is a mobile phone, please remove it from your list.” (yes, even if it is a land-line)

They are surprisingly courteous and willing to get off the phone quickly in this situation. I believe there is some kind of rule about calling mobile phones since the customer is paying for inbound calls.

I learned this after I had forwarded my home phone to my mobile and was receiving telemarketing calls on it.

(sorry about the following extraneous finger photos, but I was google-imaging for a middle finger and I just couldn’t pass these up)
  

1) Extend either arm at an approximately 90° angle perpendicular to the body.
2) Bend arm at the elbow. Position it parallel to the body, forming three sides of a perfect square.

3) Close palm tightly.

4) Fiercely upturn digit between pointer and ring finger.

5) Hold approximately 10 seconds to a minute for emphasis.

Memorial Day Monday stop #1 was Fairway Cafe, which is the informal cafe situated atop the Fairway market. 

When you live in Manhattan on a budget “grilling” means George Foreman style and that’s just not going to cut it on a national holiday (one of them anyway) built around grilling meat. Fortunately Fairway Cafe has one of the all-time greatest hamburgers anywhere. I am fond of the Monterey Jack w/ avocado and sprouts + a little mild horseradish sauce.

The strange part about Fairway Cafe burgers is that they don’t seem to want you to order them. They don’t give you a separate burger menu unless you ask for it specifically and there’s no mention of them on the regular menu. Then, once you order it you get a little huff from the waiter and a “just so you know it takes 25 minutes or more to prepare and cook the burgers — do you still want them?” And it really does take a long time and your sitting there looking at all the other really great food items arriving at all the other tables for an incredibly long feeling time. But then finally a waiter (not sure if it’s yours because they somehow all blend into one person – and I’m not being racist here) brings the simple, small diameter, bun stays out of the way, tall, perfectly juicy burger with a side of tasty ruddy potato fries and a side of slaw.

• Off to find dessert. Any storefront with a line out the door and is not in a primarily tourist area demands to be investigated further. We came upon one of these a block or two North of Fairway on the upper west side. It’s called Beard Papa’s. They basically sell one item, a super-special creampuff. They are backed in front of you and filled by hand only after you’ve ordered them. The recommendation to eat them immediately was observed exactly.

[Hollie covers this territory here.]

Well this isn’t quite bulletproof, but it is good sleuthing.

via Boing Boing, Alex Boese of the Museum of Hoaxes may have solved the Rance mystery.

I think Rance is a cartoonist/filmmaker/screenwriter named Keith Thomson. Here’s my reasoning. What immediately struck me about Rance’s weblog was that it attracted a very high number of comments from very early on. Within two hours after Rance posted his first entry on December 29, 2003, four people had left comments on his site. Most weblogs, by contrast, struggle to get anyone to read them, let alone leave comments. So how was he attracting so many visitors to his site straight off the bat? What I discovered was that immediately after Rance posted his first entry on Dec. 29 at 4:49 EST, someone going by the screen name ‘InvaderFromPluto’ began posting messages about his weblog on various fan discussion groups. For instance, at 5:52, about one hour after Rance had posted his first entry, a message from InvaderFromPluto appears on Yahoo’s thematthewperryplace message board. It reads: “i read slate reported a famous tv actor keeping a weblog under pseudonym ‘rance’ at http://captainhoof.tripod.com/blog/ it’s hard to know if it is him, but it might be as it is funny and seems witty in his sort of way”

Obviously Slate hadn’t written anything about Rance’s weblog. Rance’s weblog, at that time, was only an hour old. So how did InvaderFromPluto know about Rance’s weblog so quickly, and why was he so interested in promoting it? Perhaps InvaderFromPluto was Rance himself. Makes sense to me.

Personally I’m not convinced it is him, but he may be in on the rouse.

My own post’s on the subject has a healthy comment area where someone named moonlitsun is sure its ‘ryan ebner’

 The long holiday weekend is here. The beginning of summer. And what better way to kick it off (and honor our nation’s veterans) than drinking 1/3 of a domestic beer, cramming it up the back-end of a chicken and grilling it? I suppose you could rig up something similar with a coat hanger MacGyver-style, but this is the official model.

The only acceptable alternative to this would be the turkey fryer, but really that’s more of an Easter/Thanksgiving occasion.

[via Gizmodo]

The Rejection Hotline is a number you can give out to somebody who asks for your phone number if you just don’t want to give out your real number. Located in over 30 cities nationwide, and with people having cell phone numbers from all over the place, you never have to deal with telling someone no again. Get your number before you head out tonight.

[via MetaFilter]

Special props to Amanda who was able to recall the NYC number from memory when it came up in discussion during outdoor drinks @ Bryant Park.

From a Moscow Times article about how the world almost blew itself up cold war style: